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Hate the Game Not the Player

Hate the Game Not the Player

As unfortunate as this story is, I can’t help but feel some admiration for little Missy Emerick.

Held against her will, she devises a plan that she probably remembers from an episode of The Simpsons. Drop some of her prescription meds into a 2-liter bottle of soda pop, wait an hour or two and execute a Shawshank. Then skip out for some quality tonsil hockey with some bro. 

Brilliant plan but attempted murder? What is the prosecutor thinking? There isn’t a chance that a charge like that will stick. Any defense attorney with a half a brain will claim that because Missy takes antipsychotics herself, she understands all about the pharmacokinetics necessary to incapacitate a person but not actually kill them. And the scissors? Fat Juliet is studying to be a seamstress. Missy will be back at Community Alternatives planning her next felony before the hair on the side of her head grows back. 

Reminds me of a case I had back in Denver. Divorced couple. Teenage son lives with the mom but visits the dad on weekends. One weekend, the dad tells the son to steal some of his mother’s pills and bring them to the dad. Dad takes the capsules and doctors them with some 2,4-D, one of the ingredients in Agent Orange. Dad gives them to the son and he replaces them in mom’s pill bottle, but gets cold feet and tells the mom. Mom brings the pills to the police who test them and arrest dad. He admits to the whole sordid affair but claims (actually his attorney claims) that because he is a firefighter and works on the HAZMAT team, he knows all about dosing 2,4-D to induce injury but not kill someone. Denver District Attorney decides that his explanation is legit and charges him with “attempted assault.” Not ASSAULT – attempted assault. What the heck?! Dad pleads to something like a parking ticket and goes back to whatever he was doing prior to planning murder. 

Written by Poison Boy

Gerry O'Malley (a.k.a Poison Boy) is a board certified ER doctor and toxicologist with a interest in the unusual, terrifying and occasionally hilarious world of poisonings and toxicology. This site is an exploration of poisons of historical interest as well as in current events and pop culture.

Copyright © Poison Boy and the Safety Rangers - 2017

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